The Goth Creedo:

"All you have to do to be a non-conformist is dress exactly like us and listen to the same music we do..."

*+*+*

My boy, Butters: "I'd rather be a little crybaby pussy than a faggy goth."

Spoken like a man many years his senior... ;)

Can we PLEASE stop with the "fo' shizzle my nizzle dizzle" shit, already? It was tired about a year ago... and it's really stupid, at this point...

Okay... this weekend, it was about 10 degrees... Yesterday, it was 63... Today, it was 67... Tomorrow? Snow...

A couple weeks ago, there was a woman who was breast-feeding her child while in line at one of the Wal-Marts here in Fort Collins (for all you locals, the one off of Mulberry and Lemay). Apparently, she was asked to stop breast-feeding her child in public or leave the store... I'm not sure which she chose to do, but the next day, some thirty women showed up at the same store and proceeded to breast-feed their children (in public) in some kind of "boob out protest," or something... Isn't that just lovely? I am glad that I didn't go to Wal-Mart that day, because I would have probably made fun of a lot of ridiculously assinine women...
I saw on the news yesterday or the day before where the State Legislature is in the process of passing a law that would make it illegal to breast feed in public anywhere in the state... Thank Gawd-uh!
Having been a witness (or rather, a "victim") of this myself here, once (at a restaurant, of all places, with absolutely no effort to conceal it, or anything - totally disgusting - you should have seen the look on my girlfriend's face - priceless), I can only say that women really need to keep their boobs to themselves in public, please. Or if they think it's okay, then I think it should be okay for me to walk around with my ballsack hanging out of my fly... My "functional reasoning" would be in order to cool my testicles and keep my sperm count up... :)

For some reason, I have recently become hooked on Canada Dry Ginger Ale, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. It basically tastes nothing like ginger ale (it sort of smells like it, though), but just tastes more like 7up (in fact, I think 7up owns Canada Dry, now?)... but every time I go to the store, I grab a $2.00 twelve-pack and go home and proceed to drink it up in a few days... I haven't been drinking a lot of caffeine, recently... I wonder if I've just subsituted the taste of Canada Dry for my cravings for caffeine?
Oh, well... it could be worse... I could be smoking, again.

If Von Dutch were still alive, I doubt his relatives still would be...

I was flipping the channels the other day, and came across comedian Tracy Morgan on the Ellen DeGeneres Show... He was wearing a Von Dutch "trucker hat" (that reprtedly goes for about 50 bucks in stores, for about two bucks worth of materials)... My thought was does Tracy morgan have a clue who Von Dutch was? Well, for those of you who don't know, Von Dutch was a guy who custom-painted cars back in the '50s... he was also one of the featured artists in CarToons magazine for many years, a magazine that I always dug growing up... Von Dutch was also a raging alcoholic, psychotic racist... He "was not fond of" black people and wasn't afraid to let other people know it, either... He died several years ago, and his family licensed out his name to a line of clothing worn by a bunch of celebrities that can afford to wear the stuff (140 bucks for a pair of jeans is just fucking stupid)... But the whole raging racist thing led me to believe that Tracy pretty much didn't have a clue whose name he had on the hat he was wearing... which just made me sigh and think that he's stupid...
Dutch was also known to have a gun with him wherever he went... If he were still alive, I have a feeling he would use it to shoot everyone in his money-grubbing family...

I is an Uncle...


Say hello to my niece...


Mama-san...

...and the proud papa...



So, now you may all refer to me officially as "Uncle Fucka..."

I thought THIS had to be a joke... but apparently, it's not... it seems that some people in New York want to give pit bull terriers a "makeover" of sorts by giving the breed a new name... New Yorkies... possibly the dumbest idea/name in the known universe... So, for some reason, people thin that changing a breed's name will make others forget about the breed's particular viciousness and such... hmmm...
It really doesn't matter what you call them, they'll still rip your face off in a pinch...

READ ABOUT IT HERE

Holy jeez, is it cold out... -15 degrees F, currently... about -35 degrees F in the mountains across the way... Too cold to do much but stay inside. Now, the 8 inches of snow we got a few days ago is all dried out and makes that horrid squeaky sound when you walk on it... drives me crazy. One of the worst sounds/feels on the planet.

Okay... I'm totally confused... I am trying to figure out the correct order of the Hellraiser series: This is the best I can come up with -

Hellraiser
Hellbound: Hellraiser II
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
Hellraiser (IV): Bloodline
Hellraiser (V): Inferno
Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker

Is that right? I know there's a Hellraiser VII: Deader and a Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld but haven't heard much about 'em other than Kari Wurher is in VII and Lance Henrikson is in VIII.
Of course, I am only really a huge fan of the first two. After Clive Barker left the series, they kinda went in a strange direction...
III was just a slasher flick to me...
IV was kinda cool, in that it explored the history (and future) of the creator of the puzzle box's "bloodline."
V was a very good story, but it didn't strike me as a Hellraiser story... Well, in all honesty, it was pretty cool in that it was a look at all the sufferring of one of the box solvers... I liked it, but I had trouble seeing it as a "Hellraiser movie."
VI was actually probably the best Hellraiser since the first two, honestly... It features the return of "Kirsty" (Ashley Laurence) from the first two movies, and has a pretty cool "mystery-thing" going on. It definitely floated my boat, as far as my "Hellraiser Jones" goes... I'm wondering if I can find the next two on DVD, anywhere (as I understand, they were shot back to back in Romania, and VIII was supposed to have been released in early October - I don't think there's been a theatrical Hellraiser release since IV)...
If anyone knows anything else about the latest two, let me know in my comments section, maybe? Thanks...

When I read the script for The Big Lebowski, I saw the part of Walter and I thought, "That part has Steve Buscemi written all over it." I could picture it so well in my mind... When I actually sat down and watched it, I saw his name on the DVD box and thought, "Hey! Whadya know!" Then I looked at the box a little close and saw John Goodman with a gun and then thought, "Oh, so John Goodman is gonna be Walter... so does that mean that Steve Buscemi is Donny?" Sure enough... I really wish that Steve Buscemi had been Walter and they would have gotten someone else to be Donny (because Donny's role was rather small, and I'm a pretty big Buscemi fan). As it turns out, Goodman was really good in the role... so I didn't feel that bad.
The only clip I had previously seen from the movie was when they go to spread Donny's ashes at the ocean (and instead, pretty much spread them all over the Dude)... a great scene... we talked about that at my dad's wake. I still have a big chunk of my dad's ashes. I often wonder if I should go up to Long's Peak (the local "fourteener") and let some of 'em fly. Eh. Maybe... I mean, he already resides in some plants at the Riviera in Vegas, amongst the sand in Windy Hill, South Carolina, with a tree that he, my brother and I planted on Mother's Day out front of the house in 1976, and in upstate New York... I may just hold on to what I have.

Enough, Already...


Okay, we found Saddam Hussein... He looked like shit... He's a bad man who deluded himself into thinking that what he was doing to his people was okay... He got caught in a hole under a building (you'd be scared, too, I bet)... I'm already tired of hearing about it on every channel, already... If all goes properly, he will have to answer for his actions. Let me know when that happens, and until then, mellow out on the "every story has to do with Saddam" thing on the news, already...

I have realized something over the last few weeks... I do not enjoy Salvador Dali's art, at all... If his symbolism meant anything remotely cognitive, maybe I would enjoy it (somewhat), but as it stands, it's just shit... Well, there is one piece I've always liked (Meditative Rose)... His realism was awesome, but he just got all twisted and fucked up on smack that he made no sense... like I said, it's just shit...

More Cellular Gripeage

I was in the mall today, looking for a CD (it was insanity, but that's besides the point)... As I was walking down the hallway, I came up on a group of three young men walking towards me... all talking on cellphones... My guess was that they were talking to each other on a three-way call, trying to appear cooler than they actually were. I stopped where I was and laughed. They saw me. I didn't care.
If you're gonna hang out with your friends, howsaboot actually hanging out with them?
The whole cellphone thing is really out of control around here.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually agreed with something the Rev. Jerry Falwell had to say on TV, this evening... but not for the same reasons...
The topic on Scarborough Country tonight was "PC Police Bans Christmas." There were these wackjobs on there spouting off about how Christmas was offensive to non-Christians and stuff... It was pretty insane. But what Jerry Falwell said was something to the effect of, "These people say that it's okay to sing Christmas carols as long as they don't mention Christ, which is a load of hooey..." (note:those for sure weren't his exact words) Now his reasoning for it being hooey was because this country is a country "under God" and all that... which I don't really care about... My reasoning behind the "hooey" was because politically correct people need to be slapped around a little because they are ridiculous... and becoming more ridiculous all the time. The whole idea that Christmas offends muslims or atheists and stuff like that... it's just silly. I can't even argue with people like that, because they're so ignorant.
So, if you're offended by Christmas, go to Iraq... or wherever. If I want to sing a Christmas carol, any Christmas carol I want, I'm gonna sing it, not because I am some kind of devout Christian (because I'm really not), but because I want to and I don't care what some politically correct jackass says...

A Little Too Ironic

This is Lucy:

Lucy is a sweety of a dog, but she has a little problem with chewing stuff up from time to time... so, her owner got some stuff from Petco to try to stop this little problem... the result:

I thought it was a bit of hilarious, beautiful irony. Her owner didn't think it was as funny as I did.

Okay... More Shit to Gripe About

There's a law in Ohio where you're not allowed to drive a car and talk on a cell phone unless you are using a hands-free device... So I come to Fort Collins, and everyone and their mothers talk on their cellphones and drive at the same time... apparently there is no such law in Colorado (but there's a law that says you can kill people on your front porch).
Dont get me wrong... I love my cellphone. It comes in quite handy at times, not to mention the WAP browser that helps me find my way around a rather big town that I've only lived in for two and a half months. But everywhere I turn, some little 18 year-old college girl has her cellphone glued to her ear with one hand, engaged in a deep conversation about eye liner or something, and trying to drive a car with the other. I've seen a few near-wrecks by these exact same people in recent days, and I think it's ridiculous. You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not... at least every fourth car contains a driver on a cell phone... I say it's time that Colorado jump on the hands-free bandwagon. I mean, there's already public smoking bans everywhere, in an attempt to save lives, apparently, how about trying to save a few more?

There's actually a law here in Colorado called the "Make My Day" law...

...and it was used in a rather heinous way, earlier today...
Okay... The "Make My Day" law states that a person is allowed to use "any force necessary, including deadly force" if someone enters your house without your permission... There was a law similar to that in Ohio, but in order for "deadly force" to apply, you have to be reasonably certain that your life is in imminent danger, or else if you kill someone in your house, it's not justified... see?
So, guy #1 has a dog... it barks... Guy #2 lives next door... he doesn't like guy #1's dog, nor it's bark... so he shoots guy #1's dog... Guy #1 is enraged... Guy #1 grabs a stick from his yard (probably not his best move, but still, guy #2 just killed his dog) and goes to guy#2's house... Upon arriving on guy #2's front porch (not unlawfully entering the house, mind you), guy #2 shoots and kills guy #1... The DA of wherever this all took place refused to charge guy #2 for any crime, citing the "Make My Day" law...

This is the one of the most ridiculous, ludicrous things I have ever heard of in my life...

That South Park About Starbucks is Too True

When I first saw the South Park that was about Starbuck's trying to buy out Tweak's parent's coffee shop, I thought it was a hoot... they made it out like there was a Starbucks on every other corner out here...
Well, I come to find out by moving here that it's oh, so true... There is a Starbucks on every other corner here in Fort Collins (which isn't all that far away from South Park, actually - well, closer to North Park, but y'know...)... not to mention that Starbucks is now the coffeeshop that inhabits the Barnes & Noble bookstore... I swear, one popped up overnight inside a Wells Fargo building... there's probably a dozen of them just on the main drag (College Avenue), alone... fuckin' crazy...
Makes me glad I don't drink coffee...

Y'know, I always liked the first Crow movie, even with some of the discrepencies with the original James O'Barr comics... I thought the story was incredibly good, the movie artwork was done really well, and Brandon Lee was a great pick for the role... However... What in the name of all that is sacred was that Crow 2 shit??? Could they at least picked a guy that spoke some semblance of english? Okay, Iggy Pop was in it... but that couldn't keep the movie from sucking royally... Decent premise, poor execution... There was a Crow 3 made, I think, too... straight to video... I can't imagine how much it sucks, and I'm not about to find out... I remember trying to get into the TV series (Stairway to Heaven), too, but it sucked on equal par with this crappy thing on my TV... Thank Maynard it's time for South Park...

"The actions taken by the New Hampshire Episcopalians are an affront to
Christians everywhere. I am just thankful that the church's founder, Henry
VIII and his wife Catherine of Aragon, his wife Anne Boleyn, his wife Jane
Seymour, his wife Anne of Cleves, his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife
Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this assault on
traditional Christian marriage."


hahahahahahahaha

Congrats

David Letterman became the father of a 9 pound 11 ounce baby boy on Monday...

The baby is named Harry Joseph Letterman, after Dave's father.

Congratulations, Dave.

Kobe Bryant

I've been quiet about the whole Kobe Bryant thing, and I guess it's time I opened my mouth on it, now...

Plain and simple - Kobe Bryant is a megalomaniac who measures his love for his wife in carats.

My guess is that we will never know what really happened in the hotel room just down the road from here in Eagle County... Kobe could be innocent and get conviceted, he could be guilty and be acquitted, or any combination thereof... Such is the case when you are dealing with the law and celebrities...

But he's trying to pretend like nothing's wrong and he's still the Kobe that everyone supposedly knows and loves... and he's wrong... he's never going to be that guy again, no matter what happens in court. He thinks he's just going to show up on the basketball court and everyone will forget about the fact that he may well be a rapist... news flash - they won't. He's about to go on trial for rape, and all he seems to put forth that he cares about is basketball... Kobe, c'mon... don't you think the other stuff is a little more serious than dribbling a ball down a court?

Kobe Bryant is a lost cause who's about to become a public relations nightmare, and he only has himself to thank for it. Not the press, not the law, not the girl... himself.

What About Pedophilia Victims?

Many people remember the high profile "Operation Ore" that went after people that download images of child pornography... It nabbed a few pretty despicable people along the way. But it seems that there has been a big upswing in the availability of such imagery, thanks to good ol' peer to peer file sharing... It's free, there's no need to leave any incriminating credit card data anywhere where it can be picked up on, and there's no "middle man," thus providing much easier access to the images...

Is anything being done to stop the people that make the imagery? Well, people are trying, but lack of manpower and lack of knowing where to look isn't helping matters very much...

HERE is a rather disturbing article into some of the things that are going on, and what law enforcement is trying to do to in response...

Ridgeway Expected to Plead Guilty to 48 Murders

In an effort to spare himself from the death penalty, suspected "Green River Killer" Gary Ridgeway is expected to plead guilty to 48 murders next week.

Ridgeway will plead guilty to 42 murders on the "Green River" list as well as six that were not on the list...

The Green River killings involved mainly runaways, prostitutes, and drug addicts in the mid '80s and get their name fro the area where the early victims were found in Washington state...

Funny how a guy can admit to mercilessly killing fifty people and not have to die for it, while other people get the chair for one murder... in some cases, even wrongly convicted... society is strange, I say...