I drank so much Cuervo Especial as a youth, I developed an aversion to even the smell of tequila... I tried some of this a few months ago... extremely tasty... way, way, smooth... I almost bought a bottle of scotch (my love), but there was one bottle of this left... so I decided I must have it (I must, I must).

I hear people say stuff like, "Mix it with Coca-Cola..." Fuck that... mix it with mah belly.

Merry Christmas to me, damnit (I'm getting something for Christmas this year, even if I have to buy it for myself)... I have to work tonight, so I won't get a chance to have any until tomorrow... but I know it'll be here, waiting for me. :)

Music Video Codes - MySpace Layouts

This is NOT supposed to auto-start... but it does... Oh, well...

Merry Christmas...

People are so Funny...

So... the other night, one of my friends at work (we'll call him "Jim") was telling me about how his cousin, another friend of mine (we'll call him "Herb"), was telling him about how he found a "video of himself playing with (a particular band that shall remain nameless) at the Alrosa Villa on YouTube." I found this to be both hilarious and puzzling... For starters, "Herb" is one of those guys that likes to tell people he plays guitar... but when it gets down to it, he doesn't do a whole lot of playing, but a lot of talking about it... oh... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yeah... a poseur. Maybe that's a little harsh... maybe it isn't... I dunno.

"Herb" once got a hold of a demo I did and went around playing it for girls (and some guys, too, I guess) telling them that it was him on the guitar... When a couple of the girls played me a copy of the tape he made for them and said, "Isn't he great?" - well... after laughing hysterically for a few moments, I picked up my guitar and started playing along verbatim with the recording... They were like, "Wow, did he show you the songs?" (more hysterical laughter) After I explained that it was actually me on the recordings (and provided proof in the way of the master recordings), one of the girls laughed and the other was pretty unhappy... I later learned that he used the tape to attempt a crack at her poonanner...

(It's interesting to note that the day my friend (we'll call him "Steve") and I went to mix that demo, a particular country artist (we'll call him "Billy Ray Cyrus") was sitting, listening to the roughed tracks when we got there (we were recording in his keyboardists' studio)... He was all like, (imagine a Kentucky accent) "Man, I'd love to sing on your songs... I love rock 'n' roll, but y'know, country pays the bills... You heard that song by the Rolling Stones '19th Nervous Breakdown?' I LOVE that shit..." Having had plenty of experience with him in the past, we were both thinking, "Yeah, right... don't call us, we'll call you..."
He proceeded to go in the other room with the engineer and do a bunch of blow... and six months later "Achy Breaky Heart" was everywhere, and I would have loved to have had BRC singing metal on tape... Coulda fetched a pretty penny...)

Anyhow... The other thing I found interesting about "Herb's" story was the fact that I was pretty familiar with the band that he was referring to... One of my amigos (we'll call him "Hoshimoto") played drums for them at the time that "Herb" was claiming to have played for them... As long as I could remember, they were a one-guitar band (we'll call him "Rick 'Rikki' Soga")... Could it be that somewhere between the time in '92 that I watched "Herb" run out of one of my band's rehearsals in a feverish sweat when I offered to let him sit in on a couple songs and '94 (when the band he was referring to broke up), he actually learned how to play a guitar worth a shit? Well... I couldn't take it anymore, and after a little digging... "Herb" is still as full of shit as he ever was...

Humorous... yet kind of sad. I mean, don't get me wrong... I like "Herb." He was always a good guy to me and very devoted to music... He just always seemed to, like, try too hard. He didn't need to be so overblown about things to get friends. He just needed to be himself. I'm not sure what he was trying to do, other than make some impression on his cousin... but I guess he hasn't changed a bit... I hope he's not still giving that (17 year-old) demo to (17 year-old?) girls and trying to get in their pants? lol I'm sure he's not... but still.

I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath thats true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life, you go in shadows
You'll come apart and you'll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with whats not there.

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew

A stranger's light comes on slowly
A stranger's heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew...

The ground gives as you go
With all them secrets that you know
As if to give nothing away
Of the signals you obey
They're weightless as a child
Fallen from above
Helpless to your size
Lonelier than God
Footsteps, empty room
As if a temple or a tomb
The bed gives where you lay
As if a power you betray
It's weightless as a child
Fallen from above
Helpless to your size
Lonelier than God
Lonelier than God
Fallen from above
Weightless as a child
Helpless to your love
When you was a child
Fallen from above
Helpless to your size
Lonelier than God
Lonelier than God
Fallen from above
Weightless as a child
Helpless to your love
Helpless to your love

The horizon pales
when she hits the ground
sirens and scaffolds
all coming down
under the weight of heaven
if only devotion
could rise on a word
then you could stumble
never be hurt
you could let go

Breaking your fall
Breaking your fall

The pilots of pleasure
your weatherman
never could push you
far as I can
they just let you fall
while buildings and bridges
just crash and burn
it's only a cloudbank
bursting in turn
they were made to come down

Breaking your fall
Breaking your fall

Fault lines and failures
angels and all
follow her footholds
breaking her fall
it's alchemical

okay... my archives seem to be missing... wtf?

---
edit: Okay... I've figured out why the archives are missing... but I'm not sure how to get them back on this layout... and if I pick a new layout, I'm not sure how to get my haloscan comments to work with the upgraded template... grr...

Decisions, decisions... Do I keep the same classic look this thing has had since I started it and lose the archive, or do I go to a new layout and lose the old comments (but actually get to use blogger's built-in commenting from now on)? Crap, crap, crap...

This time of year drives me crazy... I wish I understood it... Well... I do understand it, but I wish I understood it better, I guess... I have very much of a love/hate relationship with the holiday season. I love the memories I have of being (a lot) younger and all the fun I had with my family... and I guess I hate it because so much of that family is gone... I mean, yeah, my brother and my mother are both still alive and all that... but I haven't seen my mother since my dad's wake, about three and a half year ago. My brother may come around for Christmas, this year... I've only ever seen my almost three year-old niece once and that was for about 20 minutes... Hell, I don't know... I don't get presents, anymore (I usually end up buying myself something small for Christmas every year and that's about it)... I think one of my friends is coming up for Christmas (one of my best friends in the world, whose wedding I wasn't even invited to).

I swear, I'm not a grinch... I really love the idea of Christmas... I find myself looking forward to it, every year (only to be kinda slapped in the face a little by the reality of the situation)... I have fun, whatever I'm doing... even when I'm working my ass off... but damnit... come on, already.

...Blood like rain come down
Drawn on grave and ground
Part vampire, part warrior
Carnivore and voyeur
Stare at the transmittal
Sing to the death rattle
La, la, la, la, la, la, la-lie

Credulous at best your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men
Pull your head on out
Your head believes it, give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again
The universe is hostile
So impersonal
Devour to survive, so it is
So it's always been...

Food Network note: Giada DeLaurentis is a pretentious twit (I hate how she does the whole Italian accent thing whenever she speaks of an Italian ingredient... Yeah, Mario Batali does it, too... but at least he's not all like, "I'm so cool and you're not," about it... which makes him, in fact, cool)... and Emeril Lagasse is just a dufus... Rachel Ray is so cute, you just wanna pinch her cheeks... or smack her... I can't decide which... Bobby Flay? Douchebag...

"Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"

W.B. Yeats


"It's circular. You exist to continue your existence. What's the point?"


"Without love... breath is just a clock - ticking."

...and so it begins...

If there's anything I hate, it's bad jazz music... even more specifically, bad jazz saxophone music (I would insert Kenny Gorelick ("Kenny G")'s name into that, but he's not even jazz... he's just pure, unadulterated shit on a cracker). The only thing I hate worse than that is bad jazz saxophone Christmas music... I guess at midnight on Thursday night, the music at work switched from decent music to "assloads of Christmas music and some decent music every here and there..." Every now and then a decent rendition of a Christmas song would play (no Stan Kenton, yet, mind you... and I'm not holding my breath)... followed by several horrendous renditions of Christmas songs (most notably about six different totally shitty versions of "Christmas Time is Here" (a personal fave) - you know, the song that opens up A Charlie Brown Christmas - here, just download it and listen for yourself)... I know it's really early in "the season..." but if I have to put myself through this for much longer... I may have to burn down the building...

If there's anything worse than bad jazz saxophone Christmas music, it HAS to be Gloria Estefan Christmas music... You can almost see her doing the conga over her versions of "Jingle Bells," "Silent Night" (which really made me wish it was), and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town..."

Ack...

Okay... after sitting and actually reading that last post... is it pleaded, or pled? I know I always used to say pled as the past tense of plead... and then all I hear on, like, CourtTV and stuff the last several years is pleaded... so I think I must've subconsciously become conditioned to this strange word (this, coming from the same people (journalists that get paid good money to know these things) that, for some reason, have the inability to capitalize the word President in reference to the Commander in Chief of this oh-so-great nation)... Oh, well... fuck it. I'm going back to saying pled and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it...

Guilty

So... I had no idea... but it seems that ol' pilljunkie is free on bond, awaiting sentencing, after pleading guilty to breaking into my house...

Here's the updated docket sheet.

Would've been cooler if someone would've, maybe, let me know something about it, all...

Still want my fuckin' razor... and maybe my mechanic's gloves (no, I'm not a mechanic, but they were pretty nice gloves)... but most definitely the razor... *sad face*

He also pleaded guilty to a count of forgery on the same day and has to go to court on the 30th... possibly to be sentenced? Maybe he will be sentenced for the burglary on the same day? Eh, who knows?

"Love... I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside..."

Oh, man... I actually got off work before 6am, this morning... and I'm actually off, tomorrow... I'm truly amazed... I have no idea what I will do with all the spare time... Oh, yeah, I do... sleep. I'll just hang out all day in my lounge pants... Won't shave... just be a lazy slob for a day... that will be awesome... too bad there's no good TV on Tuesdays...

I love good dreams... I had a really good dream, yesterday... It was one of those "so real you could smell stuff" types of good dreams... It wasn't a sleazy dream (anyone that knows me very well knows that, for some reason, I never dream about sex... like, ever), but it was kinda sexy, I guess... I love the feeling when I wake up from an awesome dream... and then kinda hate the feeling when I am awake enough to realize it was just a dream... so I try to go back to sleep real quick to see if I can pick up where it left off... which has actually worked a few times. It didn't work, yesterday, but I guess it didn't really matter... what I dreamed was certainly satiating enough for me... and like I said, there was no actual "sex" involved in said dream (if there were, I probably wouldn't have felt as good about the dream when I woke up)... just a lot of "being there" and stuff... Sooooo real... Speaking of...

"Love, let me sleep tonight
On your couch...
And remember the smell
And the fabric
Of your simple city dress...

Oh... That was so real

We walked around
'til the moon got full
Like a plate...
And the wind blew an invocation
And I fell asleep
At the gate...

Oh... That was so real
Oh... That was so real..."

...always totally loved that song...

Y'know what really grinds my gears? Not getting text messages... I mean, receiving things telling me that several text messages have come while I was asleep... and not actually receiving any of them... Well, a couple of them were reminders for sporting event things, I'm sure, which is no great loss - I was asleep, anyway... but the other ones that came in, I think I really wanted to get them...

It's an extreme rarity that it ever happens... but when it does, it aggravates the living hell out of me... there is no living hell in me, right now, because it's all been aggravated out. I'll live... but damnit, anyway.

I don't enjoy being in pain... It's not a welcome thing, to me... I am not "into" it... However, after a night of absolutely exhausting work, I am very much "in" it... and to beat all, instead of having a day off to recuperate like I was planning to, I have to work... because I'm a good guy like that.

There's a guy that comes in in the mornings... he's like one of those guys that whistles... constantly... over top of music. Now, I'm not much for whistling... I tend to find it a bit annoying when people whistle over top of music that is playing... and this guy is vamping over top of Neil Diamond and Air Supply shit like an avante garde jazz saxophonist... The music at work is pretty decent - lots of classic rock (Rush, etc.), sprinkled with some modern stuff... nothing too heavy, or anything. Then, at 6am, it changes over to a bunch of schlock (can't wait for the Christmas music to start - oh, boy). Now, I'm staying super-extra late at work to make up for some people being complete slackers and dropping the ball left and right... I don't want to hear this guy whistling in the first place... and then to have him whistling loudly over top of really shitty music... totally aggravating. I seriously thought about how much I would have liked to shoot him in the face for about ten minutes.

I have to go take some aspirin... because it's all I have... and I have to lay down... because I hurt so much I can barely sit up.

I'm in a good mood... I'm in a bad mood...

I have totally clarity... I've never been so confused...

The more I look... the more I need to look...

The more I consume... the emptier I feel.

The firmer I plant my feet on the ground... the more I want to fly.

The more pressure I apply... the more it bleeds.

...

Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.

George : Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted... and a cup of tea.

Without doubt, the best cookies on the face of the entire planet.
I think I just drank the biggest glass of milk I may have ever had in my life...
(and yes... my phone is cooler than yours...)

I took this the other night on the way home from work... it's the new U.S. Grant Bridge... that came in something like three years late (they tore down the old one in 2000, I believe)... At the time, there were something like three bridges in the world like it... now, there's a buttload, and the Portsmouth bridge isn't all that special, anymore... Oh, well... it's still pretty cool lookin'.

Ahhh... The follies of a late night in Portsmouth...


Don't have any idea who he is... but he's famous, now...


I checked to make sure he was still alive before I left...