People are so Funny...

So... the other night, one of my friends at work (we'll call him "Jim") was telling me about how his cousin, another friend of mine (we'll call him "Herb"), was telling him about how he found a "video of himself playing with (a particular band that shall remain nameless) at the Alrosa Villa on YouTube." I found this to be both hilarious and puzzling... For starters, "Herb" is one of those guys that likes to tell people he plays guitar... but when it gets down to it, he doesn't do a whole lot of playing, but a lot of talking about it... oh... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yeah... a poseur. Maybe that's a little harsh... maybe it isn't... I dunno.

"Herb" once got a hold of a demo I did and went around playing it for girls (and some guys, too, I guess) telling them that it was him on the guitar... When a couple of the girls played me a copy of the tape he made for them and said, "Isn't he great?" - well... after laughing hysterically for a few moments, I picked up my guitar and started playing along verbatim with the recording... They were like, "Wow, did he show you the songs?" (more hysterical laughter) After I explained that it was actually me on the recordings (and provided proof in the way of the master recordings), one of the girls laughed and the other was pretty unhappy... I later learned that he used the tape to attempt a crack at her poonanner...

(It's interesting to note that the day my friend (we'll call him "Steve") and I went to mix that demo, a particular country artist (we'll call him "Billy Ray Cyrus") was sitting, listening to the roughed tracks when we got there (we were recording in his keyboardists' studio)... He was all like, (imagine a Kentucky accent) "Man, I'd love to sing on your songs... I love rock 'n' roll, but y'know, country pays the bills... You heard that song by the Rolling Stones '19th Nervous Breakdown?' I LOVE that shit..." Having had plenty of experience with him in the past, we were both thinking, "Yeah, right... don't call us, we'll call you..."
He proceeded to go in the other room with the engineer and do a bunch of blow... and six months later "Achy Breaky Heart" was everywhere, and I would have loved to have had BRC singing metal on tape... Coulda fetched a pretty penny...)

Anyhow... The other thing I found interesting about "Herb's" story was the fact that I was pretty familiar with the band that he was referring to... One of my amigos (we'll call him "Hoshimoto") played drums for them at the time that "Herb" was claiming to have played for them... As long as I could remember, they were a one-guitar band (we'll call him "Rick 'Rikki' Soga")... Could it be that somewhere between the time in '92 that I watched "Herb" run out of one of my band's rehearsals in a feverish sweat when I offered to let him sit in on a couple songs and '94 (when the band he was referring to broke up), he actually learned how to play a guitar worth a shit? Well... I couldn't take it anymore, and after a little digging... "Herb" is still as full of shit as he ever was...

Humorous... yet kind of sad. I mean, don't get me wrong... I like "Herb." He was always a good guy to me and very devoted to music... He just always seemed to, like, try too hard. He didn't need to be so overblown about things to get friends. He just needed to be himself. I'm not sure what he was trying to do, other than make some impression on his cousin... but I guess he hasn't changed a bit... I hope he's not still giving that (17 year-old) demo to (17 year-old?) girls and trying to get in their pants? lol I'm sure he's not... but still.