Man... I've got, like, a HUGE secret about someone... and I'm absolutely going crazy wanting to tell a couple other people that probably would really appreciate knowing... but as it stands, I'm the only person that knows said secret... and I promised them I wouldn't say a word... and, I mean, I'm not gonna tell anyone, because I'm cool like that, but... damnit. These people kinda deserve to know... but I can't tell them... AND it would probably be a much classier move in the first place to hear it from the actual person... like, potentially earth-rocking shit... and if this person doesn't tell them said secret, the ramifications are potentially even worse... but... before I even knew what was going on, I promised I wouldn't tell... and I don't see myself going back on it... part of that whole "trust" issue... but... they should know.

...but they won't hear it from me.