Work sucked... nothing new... too much shit, not enough people... nothing new... people get freaked out and panicky... nothing new... I stay over to help everyone... nothing new...
After the last bit of skullduggery, I just don't feel the need to try to make everyone else look good, anymore. It's not a selfish thought... it's a practical thought. All I've been doing for the last few months is staying over for hours at a time to help everyone out... I'm not doing it for me... yeah, racking up the OT isn't a horrible thing, but that wasn't why I was doing it. It was for "the greater good" of the whole... but all everyone else cares about there are themselves and who they can stir shit up with and cause trouble with and get in their business and all that... so fuck that place... I'm working and I'm leaving... and leaving all the bullshit at the clock.
I deserved that job... but got totally ripped up the back because people are petty and want to bring problems to others so that their problems don't have to suffer alone... the new boss is in for a treat, I guarantee it.
Damn... for whatever reason, I really wish someone would come home this weekend... I understand why she can't... commitment and responsibility and all that... and that's fine... it doesn't have anything to do with me... or "not me," for that matter, if you know what I'm saying... but hanging out the other night... such an unusual but totally welcoming feeling... sanity... and just positive things... wasn't concerned with anything but that moment, right then... sanity, y'know? I understand that she won't be around this weekend to maybe see and hang out and talk about a hundred different things and be intrigued and interested and listen and learn and all that... and laugh and just have the good time we always seem to have when we hang out. Freakin' sanity, man... but it's cool. I wouldn't dare be selfish or bummed or anything like that. She's got things she needs to do if she's going to get to where she wants to be and she needs to make the time to do it right. There will be opportunities if she wants. I'll certainly make the time.
