I guess I need to clarify something for the watchers of this thing (edit: I've addressed them about doing this before privately, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in as well as I thought)... because I don't like getting crazy-assed messages about it... The person I've been wanting to spend time with is just a friend... JUST A FRIEND. Apparently, a guy can't care about a girl without having designs on banging them, or something. I've known them for a long time... and they're one of the better "people" I've probably ever known in my life. I like hanging out with them... I always have... I always will. There isn't some ulterior motive in them being my friend. Blah blah blah, you're wrong for making such stupid assumptions... stupid... and it's irritating to be accused as such... just because you read too much into something... bah, what the heck do you care, anyway?
That being said, I'm not saying that if the opportunity came along for it to be something beyond the pretty righteous friendship it is, I would just immediately, outright say no... I mean, she is what people would call "a catch..." but that's not what's going on... that's not my intention... at all. Besides, I still carry a pretty nasty wound that I never was given a proper chance to unburden myself of that still affects pretty much every breath I've taken since then... but I'm sure in the end, that's all my fault, too. I have my moments where it doesn't sting so much... like when I'm hanging around or talking to good people like the aforementioned... I mean yeah, they were apparently too afraid to face the truth... lots of people don't have the strength to confront something that might slap everything they've been accustomed to for a long time square in the face... but they wanted something single-dimensional and something that was expected of them and something they were used to over something... well... awesome and real... but they're not paying any price for it, just me. Getting past that has been an extremely long and still a bit incomplete process, thus far (some of the more recent music in the last several months, including the recent collaborations have helped me at least take it out of my head and put it into something tangible that people (including myself) might better be able to get a grasp on)... and I'm not about to bring anyone else in on a mess that someone else helped make but wasn't honest enough with themselves to help clean up.
But anyhow... I would encourage those of you that don't want to hear the truth about what goes on in my head not to come here and read it... and if you do, do yourself a favor and don't infer things that aren't there. I think you can figure out by now that if I have something to say, I'm just going to say it...
