So long, junkie... for now, anyway...
Seems you went and got yourself in a pickle... not unlike the guy you loved to talk trash about, your ol' junkie "pal," Douchey.
Can you talk your way out of this one, this time? Oh, no... no, you can't.
Was it really that hard to just... just behave like an adult for a change?

Yeah, I'm engaging in a little schadenfreude... you deserve it, honestly. You couldn't just play it straight... you had to keep talking your shit about everyone... trying to bang their girlfriends as soon as they weren't around... you had to keep puffing your chest as if every woman in the free world should beg for you and your salmony chinpubes (by the way, the "women should be respected" speech you tried to pitch at Jay while the girlies were listenin'... well, the truth came out a couple seconds later BY YOUR OWN STUPID HAND (or mouth, as it were) and it went over like a fart in church, huh? Next time, maybe just look around and make sure the same girls you're trying to impress aren't standing right behind you before you start referencing their anatomy... dufus) You couldn't keep your habit under any kind of reasonable control (why couldn't you even wait to get off the lot, for cryin' out loud?). It was only a matter of time before you made the slip that would sink the party boat, and... well... look at you, now. Welcome to another page in the book of your goofy life... wasn't worth it, was it?

I'm not going to lie... there were some moments where being around you was just fine... you're not a completely horrible person when you put some effort into it... but maybe that was the problem... you were putting way too much effort into trying to be something you're not. You need to relax and take a deep breath of some really fresh air, sometime... you don't always have to have the biggest dick in the room all the time, y'know?

I'd say, "oops," but you knew what you were getting yourself into... most people do... you just weren't smart enough to get out.

Silly guy.