unhappiness

I was gathered with some friends the other day... we were all childhood friends and friends with a guy that had passed away that morning (drugs... again... go figure). But we were talking about different things about how life was when we were all growing up and how we had hoped it would be when we got older and all that... y'know, all relating to the path our friend's life had taken in adulthood that ultimately led to his demise and such... but I went to eat with one of them who I have always remained pretty close with after all the years. We were eating and talking about how Todd was going to get married to one of our other friend's little sisters... and I started talking to him about his marriage and such. He married his high school sweetheart and all was wonderful in his life... or so I thought. As it would turn out, he had been living a pretty big lie... after all this time, I thought he was happily-married... but he would go on to tell me how he really hasn't been happy since he got married all those years ago... and it really struck me as odd... because... I mean, why would you live a life you weren't happy in, or at least trying to make it happy, anyway? He said he had tried to make it into something he could be happy with, but it never materialized... So, my question to him was simply, "Why stay in the marriage?" Seriously, why? He got married pretty young, and after he realized it wasn't what he wanted... instead of doing the right thing for both people and ending the mistake, he stuck with it... and has been, well I won't say "miserable," but "unhappy" with his life since, anyway. Now, I didn't sit there and try to talk him into divorcing his wife, or anything... but... all the things that he wanted to do with his life and didn't do because he married the wrong person and wasn't strong enough to admit the mistake and move on... all the dreams that were stolen from him because he was trying to make his family happy instead of himself... He had always seemed like the guy that wouldn't let anyone tell him how to live... but... man... I dunno... it kinda hurt me a little bit. I didn't lose any respect for him or anything but... I mean, how could he waste so much of a great life he was working for... waste one day more than he needed to in a marriage that he wasn't happy in... it's still really hard to wrap my head around. I guess he played the part he needed to play to make those around him happy... at the expense of his own happiness... Unforgivable? No... but... damnit man... you're such a good guy, for cryin' out loud! Live YOUR life... while you still can!

Damn.