I kinda forgot about this song for a while... but I was going through some albums this morning and was like, "Oh, yeah... that girl can sing."

I don't suppose
you ever thought of me as your universe,
so forgive me if I start to say too much.
I hit the ground,
you failed to pick me up
and that's what hurts the worst.

And every end is finished with a fall,
It's such an ugly word
that's rolling off your tongue.

And hating you
just seems so much easier than
saying to you,
you're all I ever wanted, and
you loved yourself
way more than I ever knew.
You're my suicide
Now say goodbye,
say goodbye
to me.

And I give up,
You right a wrong, while you
hate everything that I say so much
Now you've left me twisted and torn
It's hard for me to hide
the pain in my face
when you walk through the door,
anymore.

And every end is finished with a fall,
It's such an ugly word
that's rolling off your tongue.

...You go and lock the door
and hide me from the world...

And hating you
just seems so much easier than
saying to you,
you're all I ever wanted...

You're my suicide,
my suicide...

It's just one of those things, y'know? No matter what they'll try to tell themselves to attempt to make it go away... he's always gonna be there... forever... and one of these days... sooner than they believe possible... they'll look up and say, "What if...?" And the answer will be, "You'll see..." and they'll try to keep fighting what they know... but it won't matter... it's not under their control, no matter what they think they can do about it.

He was there... He saw it with his own two eyes. He knows what remains... no matter what they'll try to tell themselves.

They thought they felt good then? Just wait... they have no idea the levels of real happiness they're capable of... only if they just believe the truth and trust in what really matters.

And it will be worth it... so much so... for both of them.

As much of an awesome thing that it is... buying a house is kind of a bitch... yeah, I already kind of have a "house..." that I can't move into, yet... there's adding-on to do, geothermal to be laid... lots of things to do before it's "home sweet home," I guess... but... I'm tired of paying rent for a tiny apartment and having nothing to show for it... so... I've been looking around... had a list from the net... nothing really jumped out as awesome, or even potentially awesome. So I did the thing you're supposed to do... I drove around. All I can say is -

jackpot.

Could I possibly be moving back to the ol' stomping ground? Looks that way. Amazing.

Big thanks to Jimmy & Linda for the tip.

something

There's something I want to say... need to...

and I can't... because you won't let me...

because you hate me.

I did everything I could do to protect you... and all the while, you didn't even know it... I did everything I could... not that you would ask... but you needed it.

I just needed to square everything up... to let you know... but I couldn't... you wouldn't let me... Well, look at me, now.

...because you hate me.