Waking up with a bangin' headache is no fun... I do it, a lot... and there's not much I can do about it. I don't want it to ruin my day, though. I am in need of a good day. Someone needs me to be good for them, today. They've had a rough one, so far... and I'm not one to let a bad day for a good someone go unchallenged.

So... I have resolved a pretty decent-sized personal crisis. No, I'm not talking about the girl I was seeing, before... like I said, "one yank... right off!" and that was that. Done. I'm talking about the much deeper crisis that had been under my skin for a while. No, I never got what I absolutely deserved from the other person to make it any easier... but that's her fuckin' problem, y'know? She's a selfish, paltry child that thinks that the world should stop rotating when she wants it to and she has zero concept of the consequences of her actions (or inactions) on herself or other people that care about her. That's how she was raised, in a life without consequences... sadly, that's not how the real world operates. So she can go on and live her make-believe life and fuck up other people's worlds and her own, 'cause she's not going to affect mine, any longer. I mean, it was my fault that I let someone get in my head and twist it up... but it was her fault for not being remotely grown up about anything and doing the right thing, instead behaving like a narcissistic victim and running away from both me and her true feelings.

I'm not really happy or whatever that it turned out like this... I would have preferred a more adult approach from her to it, all... a bit of a "happier ending," perhaps... but you can't expect someone shallow to understand what another person is going through... they act concerned about the world around them and the people in it, but when push comes to shove, it's just a show... maybe even just a show for themselves, so they can think that they care, but they only really care about having their cake and eating it, too... lol So... so be it. Yeah, I remember talking about "making peace" with it, before, but I had really only made peace with my part of the equation, and it only served to make me a little more miserable. Now, I have made peace with her part, too... which was probably the more important key to it, all. Should I ever see her, again, I won't feel like I thought I would. I won't have the desire to snatch her up and run off to a secluded hideaway and ravage her until the sun comes up... in fact, I'll probably feel the urge to get away... quickly. Don't get me wrong... there is beauty within her that I recognized and thoroughly took pleasure in... something she allowed me to see in her, that she didn't let others (not even the complete Choada-Boy joke of a "boyfriend") see... but she said it once, and I never thought I would ever agree, but... she's not a good person... in a sea of people, some worse, lots better, but many just the same. Nothing unique. Nothing at all. She's the one that has to look at herself in the mirror, every day, and know who she really is underneath all the bullshit she fronts, not me.