It's been really difficult... sometimes incredibly so. You give so much of yourself to someone that gave so much of themselves... You live to serve their happiness... in turn, finding that true happiness you always wanted and felt that you deserved but could never find anywhere else, in, with, within any other person. Comparing what you have with this person to what you ever had with anyone else is a joke: you would never insult them in such a way. Sharing time with them is like a dream; to know that it wasn't a dream was sheer bliss. So truly happy to have her in my life. So proud to be able to hold her hand. So amazed to have the opportunity to look into those eyes and see everything that she allowed me to see. The flaws, the fragility... anything that others might see as that which would take away from her... only enhances that which makes her so absolutely beautiful.
Having it all vanish in the blink of an eye... devastating. To pretend as if that which is still there between us never existed... soul-crushing. Given the chance to know life, only to have it ripped away... unbearable.
