Thursday, November 17, 2005
I think I've said this before... but George Carlin just isn't funny, anymore... his latest HBO special thing was good for about thirty seconds... then the crowd quit clapping and he started talking... He just seems like a bitter tick turd, at this point. I don't know what happened... it wasn't rehab, because he stopped being funny long before he got sober. Too bad... used to be a very relevant guy with things to say that meant something to people... seems that now he's just resorted to incredibly unfunny jokes in which he roots for disasters... because, apparently, disasters only kill idiots.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Batman Begins Again...
Just got done watching Batman Begins on DVD. I really liked it at the theater, even if the theater was kinda crappy. It was just as good sitting in the confines of my own place, being able to openly comment about some things without having to worry about being shushed by someone else...
I had heard rumors that some people actually didn't like it... even worse, they thought it "sucked." So, I decided to google "Batman Beyond sucks" and see what I came across... I couldn't make it any farther than the first link before I was totally blown away by idiocy. Let's look at some of what they had to say...
from Read Magazine:
Batman leaped onto the pages of comic books, and into our hearts, in the early 1940s, beginning with his quiet appearance in a little-known graphic novel called Detective Comics.
Batman showed up in the COMIC BOOK Detective Comics in the late 1930's. A graphic novel is NOT a "comic book."
And... usually what happens is that you "leap OUT of the pages... and into our hearts." Judging by this article, I'll forgive that little bit of ineptitude.
After seeing his father get killed by a robber, Bruce decides to channel his anger to fight crime. Using his wads of money and with the help of his friend Robbin, they helped protect Gotham, a Chicago-like city full of dark alleys, corrupt police commissioners, and super villains.
For starters... both of his parents were killed... the kid's name is "Robin," not "Robbin" - the author makes this mistake a couple more times in the article, as well... Robin didn't show up in the comics until around 1941.
Also, Gotham City may have been modeled architecturally somewhat after Chicago (actually morseo Pittsburgh), but c'mon... Before Gotham City was officially named in the early '40s, Batman roamed the streets of New York City. DC made the following comparison - Metropolis (home of Superman) was "New York in the daytime," whereas Gotham City was "New York at night."
The comics were dark, but also very fun, and that fun was accurately portrayed on tv in the 1960s. Batman the tv show was a cult hit, and while the effects weren't that great, it truly showed Batman as he was originally intended - as a super detective who wasn't afraid to get into fights, but was ultimately a really nice family man with a good sense of humor.
Oh, man... Someone give this guy some help, please? Okay... Batman comics were dark... period. There were those obligatory light-hearted panels that show up in every single comic book ever printed... occasionally... Batman carried a .45, for cryin' out loud! The '60s tv show did not show Batman with much accuracy to his roots, whatsoever. Batman was not some campy goof... he was "the Dark Knight." The television show reflected the time the show was on the air, not IN ANY WAY the comic.
For the record, the Batman in Batman Begins has a pretty damn good sense of humor if you ask me.
After a couple of awful and boring movies with Michael "Snowman Jack" Keaton as the Dark Crusader, things got back on track with Batman & Robbin and Batman Forever...
Okay. Now I'm sure this guy is a moron (or that April Fool's Day comes in June, sometimes)... The Michael Keaton Batman movies were "awful and boring?" Tsk, tsk...
Who the HELL is "the Dark Crusader?" It's "CAPED Crusader," you dolt.
Batman & Robin (yes... RoBin...) and Batman Forever could possibly be two of the suckiest super hero movies ever made (not counting that scary Captain America movie starring Sam J. "Flash Gordon" Jones).
Now Batman Begins is out, and it takes it all a giant step back. Instead of making a fun family movie, Batman Begins is the darkest one yet, and light years away from the cult comic.
Batman is not a "fun, family" character... I know there were some really young kids in the theater when I saw it, but they didn't care what was going on... He shows up in his suit, whips some ass and *bang* - instant hero. The story wasn't written for your family... and it really wasn't so far away from the comic as the writer of the dreck would have you to believe.
...the movie relives Bruce Wayne - this time as a child - as he watches both (yes, both) his parents get killed. For some reason, that leads him to go to Tibet or something and learn martial arts (umm... okaaay), making enemies along the way.
Well... hmm... basically, that's what happens... BOTH his parents were killed by a mugger in the book... and he went and received training in the Far East... um... okaaay... you idiot.
...but instead of Alfred making him his costume and weapons, he hires Samuel L. Jackson to do it for him.
Umm.... the guy's name? is MORGAN FREEMAN... (you idiot)
Alfred never "made his costumes and weapons," either.
And, for the record, he doesn't hire anyone... Freeman (Lucius Fox) works for his company, Wayne Enterprises/Wayne Industries, who, among many other things, develops weaponry for the government. Wayne just "relieves" Fox of some of the supplies from his own company...
Now, I'm not a stickler for consistancy with the comic books...
You're not? ALL you've been doing is griping about how much the movie is not like the "cult comic book." Besides the fact that you don't have any idea what you're talking about (because it's way closer to the books than you apprently believe), you're also a retarded hypocrite.
Worst of all, Batman now drives some lame giant army tank instead of his normal Batmobile (which was sort of like a Lincoln Towncar with a racing stripe, tail fins and booster jets). This ugly Bat-Hummer doesn't really do much, and the CGI for it looked terrible.
No one wants to see a Lincoln Town Car being used by a super hero besides maybe the Green Hornet (and Kato)... Again... gripe about the "inconsistency" why don't ya? It was kind of silly when it was hopping rooftops and such... but the "CGI" looked pretty spiffy.
Batman himself doesn't have the stocky, square-jawed appearance that we all recognize, but is played by the thin guy from Memento.
Christian Bale was not in Memento. 'nuff said... oops, sorry Marvel.
As for the story - well, it's slow but decent. The villains don't have the fun zaniness of the Joker or Mr. Riddles or the Pengiun and they're even a little scary. (Maybe next time they'll pit Batman against Hellraiser!) But it kept me entertained, even though as a hardcore fan of the comic books, I was disappointed with their interpretation.
Oh, my god... Yeah, you're "hardcore," aren't you? Mr. Riddles??? The more you talk, the less you seem to know. I went from being angry that you were stupid to being highly amused at the same fact...
As a fan of Pinhead... fuck you.
You are possibly the LEAST "hardcore fan" of Batman comics I've ever seen being paid to write a review. If you still have a job with Readmag.com, you shouldn't... because you are an idiot.
PLEASE tell me you meant this article to be this bad to generate some publicity for your rag... please?
Just got done watching Batman Begins on DVD. I really liked it at the theater, even if the theater was kinda crappy. It was just as good sitting in the confines of my own place, being able to openly comment about some things without having to worry about being shushed by someone else...
I had heard rumors that some people actually didn't like it... even worse, they thought it "sucked." So, I decided to google "Batman Beyond sucks" and see what I came across... I couldn't make it any farther than the first link before I was totally blown away by idiocy. Let's look at some of what they had to say...
from Read Magazine:
Batman leaped onto the pages of comic books, and into our hearts, in the early 1940s, beginning with his quiet appearance in a little-known graphic novel called Detective Comics.
Batman showed up in the COMIC BOOK Detective Comics in the late 1930's. A graphic novel is NOT a "comic book."
And... usually what happens is that you "leap OUT of the pages... and into our hearts." Judging by this article, I'll forgive that little bit of ineptitude.
After seeing his father get killed by a robber, Bruce decides to channel his anger to fight crime. Using his wads of money and with the help of his friend Robbin, they helped protect Gotham, a Chicago-like city full of dark alleys, corrupt police commissioners, and super villains.
For starters... both of his parents were killed... the kid's name is "Robin," not "Robbin" - the author makes this mistake a couple more times in the article, as well... Robin didn't show up in the comics until around 1941.
Also, Gotham City may have been modeled architecturally somewhat after Chicago (actually morseo Pittsburgh), but c'mon... Before Gotham City was officially named in the early '40s, Batman roamed the streets of New York City. DC made the following comparison - Metropolis (home of Superman) was "New York in the daytime," whereas Gotham City was "New York at night."
The comics were dark, but also very fun, and that fun was accurately portrayed on tv in the 1960s. Batman the tv show was a cult hit, and while the effects weren't that great, it truly showed Batman as he was originally intended - as a super detective who wasn't afraid to get into fights, but was ultimately a really nice family man with a good sense of humor.
Oh, man... Someone give this guy some help, please? Okay... Batman comics were dark... period. There were those obligatory light-hearted panels that show up in every single comic book ever printed... occasionally... Batman carried a .45, for cryin' out loud! The '60s tv show did not show Batman with much accuracy to his roots, whatsoever. Batman was not some campy goof... he was "the Dark Knight." The television show reflected the time the show was on the air, not IN ANY WAY the comic.
For the record, the Batman in Batman Begins has a pretty damn good sense of humor if you ask me.
After a couple of awful and boring movies with Michael "Snowman Jack" Keaton as the Dark Crusader, things got back on track with Batman & Robbin and Batman Forever...
Okay. Now I'm sure this guy is a moron (or that April Fool's Day comes in June, sometimes)... The Michael Keaton Batman movies were "awful and boring?" Tsk, tsk...
Who the HELL is "the Dark Crusader?" It's "CAPED Crusader," you dolt.
Batman & Robin (yes... RoBin...) and Batman Forever could possibly be two of the suckiest super hero movies ever made (not counting that scary Captain America movie starring Sam J. "Flash Gordon" Jones).
Now Batman Begins is out, and it takes it all a giant step back. Instead of making a fun family movie, Batman Begins is the darkest one yet, and light years away from the cult comic.
Batman is not a "fun, family" character... I know there were some really young kids in the theater when I saw it, but they didn't care what was going on... He shows up in his suit, whips some ass and *bang* - instant hero. The story wasn't written for your family... and it really wasn't so far away from the comic as the writer of the dreck would have you to believe.
...the movie relives Bruce Wayne - this time as a child - as he watches both (yes, both) his parents get killed. For some reason, that leads him to go to Tibet or something and learn martial arts (umm... okaaay), making enemies along the way.
Well... hmm... basically, that's what happens... BOTH his parents were killed by a mugger in the book... and he went and received training in the Far East... um... okaaay... you idiot.
...but instead of Alfred making him his costume and weapons, he hires Samuel L. Jackson to do it for him.
Umm.... the guy's name? is MORGAN FREEMAN... (you idiot)
Alfred never "made his costumes and weapons," either.
And, for the record, he doesn't hire anyone... Freeman (Lucius Fox) works for his company, Wayne Enterprises/Wayne Industries, who, among many other things, develops weaponry for the government. Wayne just "relieves" Fox of some of the supplies from his own company...
Now, I'm not a stickler for consistancy with the comic books...
You're not? ALL you've been doing is griping about how much the movie is not like the "cult comic book." Besides the fact that you don't have any idea what you're talking about (because it's way closer to the books than you apprently believe), you're also a retarded hypocrite.
Worst of all, Batman now drives some lame giant army tank instead of his normal Batmobile (which was sort of like a Lincoln Towncar with a racing stripe, tail fins and booster jets). This ugly Bat-Hummer doesn't really do much, and the CGI for it looked terrible.
No one wants to see a Lincoln Town Car being used by a super hero besides maybe the Green Hornet (and Kato)... Again... gripe about the "inconsistency" why don't ya? It was kind of silly when it was hopping rooftops and such... but the "CGI" looked pretty spiffy.
Batman himself doesn't have the stocky, square-jawed appearance that we all recognize, but is played by the thin guy from Memento.
Christian Bale was not in Memento. 'nuff said... oops, sorry Marvel.
As for the story - well, it's slow but decent. The villains don't have the fun zaniness of the Joker or Mr. Riddles or the Pengiun and they're even a little scary. (Maybe next time they'll pit Batman against Hellraiser!) But it kept me entertained, even though as a hardcore fan of the comic books, I was disappointed with their interpretation.
Oh, my god... Yeah, you're "hardcore," aren't you? Mr. Riddles??? The more you talk, the less you seem to know. I went from being angry that you were stupid to being highly amused at the same fact...
As a fan of Pinhead... fuck you.
You are possibly the LEAST "hardcore fan" of Batman comics I've ever seen being paid to write a review. If you still have a job with Readmag.com, you shouldn't... because you are an idiot.
PLEASE tell me you meant this article to be this bad to generate some publicity for your rag... please?
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I watched the movie Ichi the Killer the other night... I had read a couple reviews, somewhere. It seemed like it could be a pretty cool movie. I guess "cool" is relative. It was a complete trip... a mindfuck, even. I think I liked it a lot, but I still am a bit disturbed by some of it to tell for sure.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Okay... I'm sitting here, as I type, watching this Airbus A-320 plane with a screwed up landing gear flying around in circles over LAX in Los Angeles...
I just heard a journalist refer to "electronical signals." ... He must've dropped out early in journalism school... like, second grade.
The plane hasn't landed, yet. Hoping for the best.
I just heard a journalist refer to "electronical signals." ... He must've dropped out early in journalism school... like, second grade.
The plane hasn't landed, yet. Hoping for the best.
People can be so aggravating. Some of the time, it's "certain people..." other times, it's just "people" in general.
I really don't enjoy people that talk out of both sides of their face. That is, people that say one thing to one person and turn around and say something completely different to another. People like that are very... well... uncool. If you should come across this post and you are of this type of person - please, stop what you are doing. It's not nice (not that you care about anything besides yourself)... when people find out that you are like this, they will stop liking you (well, I will stop liking you, anyway - not that you care about anyone liking you besides people that can help you get something you don't have)... and you will get what you deserve in the end (or... maybe you won't... Karma has a strange way of not paying people back that need it the most, sometimes).
I really don't enjoy people that talk out of both sides of their face. That is, people that say one thing to one person and turn around and say something completely different to another. People like that are very... well... uncool. If you should come across this post and you are of this type of person - please, stop what you are doing. It's not nice (not that you care about anything besides yourself)... when people find out that you are like this, they will stop liking you (well, I will stop liking you, anyway - not that you care about anyone liking you besides people that can help you get something you don't have)... and you will get what you deserve in the end (or... maybe you won't... Karma has a strange way of not paying people back that need it the most, sometimes).
Monday, September 19, 2005
I used to like the (Cincinnati) Bengals when I was a little kid... They usually sucked, but I liked them. When I was in the 2nd grade, I discovered the (Washington) Redskins and the Bengals took a second seat... because they usually sucked and the Redskins were kickass. Yeah, the two years the Bengals went to the Super Bowl, I was right there cheering them on... but y'know, that's how it goes. (Another inherent problem is that I'm also a bit of a Pittsburgh Steelers fan... bitter rivals of said Bengals)
The last time they were any good was probably 1989... I've noticed in the last couple years that they've been progressing rather well into a legitimate football team... and I'll be damned if they're not actually pretty good this year. They took enough lumps the last few years to warrant themselves some good draft picks... to the point where they've put together a pretty good team for a change... and I've found myself liking them once again and wanting to see good things happen for them... well, in all fairness, I've always "liked" them... but they sucked...
Time for some results... just get into the playoffs this year... I don't care if they lose in the first round... but just get there.
The last time they were any good was probably 1989... I've noticed in the last couple years that they've been progressing rather well into a legitimate football team... and I'll be damned if they're not actually pretty good this year. They took enough lumps the last few years to warrant themselves some good draft picks... to the point where they've put together a pretty good team for a change... and I've found myself liking them once again and wanting to see good things happen for them... well, in all fairness, I've always "liked" them... but they sucked...
Time for some results... just get into the playoffs this year... I don't care if they lose in the first round... but just get there.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
I had no idea that my brother just returned from Belgium/Germany... I wish I would have known... I would have given just about anything to have gone with him... I guess that since I didn't even know he had gone until after he had returned, I shouldn't be too down about it... but I am... Someone out there knows why, but they're not talking...
Thursday, September 08, 2005
threw you the obvious...
difficult not to feel a little bit
disappointed... and passed over...
but I see
see through it all...
...expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded...
you don't see me...
...eyes of a fallen angel...
...naked but oblivious...
...apparently nothing at all...
I kinda miss you ("kinda")... wherever you are...
difficult not to feel a little bit
disappointed... and passed over...
but I see
see through it all...
...expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded...
you don't see me...
...eyes of a fallen angel...
...naked but oblivious...
...apparently nothing at all...
I kinda miss you ("kinda")... wherever you are...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Finally
Okay, this might be a little morbid to some... but I hadn't ever seen my dad's gravesite since he passed away. Not for a lack of trying or wanting... I had really wanted to see it. When I left town for Colorado, he didn't have a headstone. When I came back her from Colorado, one of the first things I did was try to find his grave... I knew the general location, but alas, five or six trips and several hours searching and I couldn't find it...
So a couple weeks back, my brother came into town and after the ritual lunch at the Hamburger Inn, we went to the cemetery and lo and behold... finally...
It was kind of strange that they had listed my dad as a Spec4... he was a Spec4... in the reserves, anyway... but when he was active duty, he was a platoon sergeant... I would have thought that he would have had the higher rank showing... but anyhow...
Regardless, it took more than two years, but it was quite a relief to finally be able to see where (at least half of) his remains (anyway) are resting... finally. I used to dream about him still being alive and stuff like that - actually a bit on the stressful side... I saw his grave - and the dreams stopped (of course, I say that and I'll dream about him tonight, probably).
Okay, this might be a little morbid to some... but I hadn't ever seen my dad's gravesite since he passed away. Not for a lack of trying or wanting... I had really wanted to see it. When I left town for Colorado, he didn't have a headstone. When I came back her from Colorado, one of the first things I did was try to find his grave... I knew the general location, but alas, five or six trips and several hours searching and I couldn't find it...
So a couple weeks back, my brother came into town and after the ritual lunch at the Hamburger Inn, we went to the cemetery and lo and behold... finally...
It was kind of strange that they had listed my dad as a Spec4... he was a Spec4... in the reserves, anyway... but when he was active duty, he was a platoon sergeant... I would have thought that he would have had the higher rank showing... but anyhow...
Regardless, it took more than two years, but it was quite a relief to finally be able to see where (at least half of) his remains (anyway) are resting... finally. I used to dream about him still being alive and stuff like that - actually a bit on the stressful side... I saw his grave - and the dreams stopped (of course, I say that and I'll dream about him tonight, probably).
Sunday, June 26, 2005
I've been a movie nut since I was a little kid... going to the movie theater with my brother (or many times just by myself) was something I did at least every other weekend from some of my earliest memories as a child in the Columbia theater watching Disney matinees until after high school. I'm one of the few people I know that can say that they can watch almost anything... and I'll probably find something in it likeable. I'm extremely easy to please when it comes to movies. Make me laugh, make me scared, make me root for someone or root against someone else, and chances are I will like the movie.
So after watching the Bat flick last night, I sat and tried to think of some movies I honestly didn't like...
For the sake of it, I'm going to leave out Police Academy Parts IV+ as well as Kevin Costner's "jewels of denial" Waterworld and The Postman... because those kind of go without saying. Also left out are movies like From Justin to Kelly that there's no way in a million Hells you could get me to watch.
Batman & Robin - Okay... Michael Keaton? Yes (even though he will always be Mr. Mom to me). Val Kilmer? No. George Clooney? HELL no.
Titanic - well, I honestly only made it maybe forty-five minutes into the movie before I just stopped watching it... It's pretty obvious why it did a billion at the box office... One simple reason... Continents full of teeneage girls making many multiples of trips to the theater... I thought it was complete shit... and considering how much money they wasted on it, a heaping pile of complete shit... written for morons (and teenage girls). I can't believe that James Cameron can even find work in Hollywood, honestly, yet it seems people - Hollywood execs, fans, etc. are lining up to fellate him for some unknown reason.
Pearl Harbor - okay... what the Hell? I think you missed the point, man. I hate when people make love stories out of a god-awful tragedy... I'm sure that somewhere down the road, a cheesy $200 million dollar 9/11 love story will pop up. But Pearl Harbor... the special effects are rather well done, but there were even spots in the action secquences where I was dumbfounded by the stupidity... and if all you can appreciate in a movie are the special effects... well, y'know.
I have never seen E.T. from start to finish in one viewing - it took four or five different times to get the whole movie in - I didn't think it particularly sucked, or anything - I just couldn't get into it.
You Got Served - Yeah, I saw it coming on TV, one day... Seeing how well it was thoroughly abused in the South Park episode "F'd in the A," I had to see if it would suck as much as I thought it would. Turns out, it sucked even more.
Battlefield Earth - as much as I wanted to like it... I ended up not.
Jaws 3D and Jaws: The Revenge - just sucked... end of discussion.
The Crow: City of Angels - I was a James O'Barr (the writer of the original comics) fan before the first movie ever came out... and I really loved the first one... I've never tasted poo before, but after I got done with City of Angels I wasn't so sure, anymore.
Lawnmower Man 2 - I have fond memories of the original... the sequel? Eh, not so much.
While were on the sequel path - Grease 2 & Caddyshack 2 sucked almost equally.
Rollerball (2002) - I can remember watching the old '70s one with my parents... in the '70s... and thinking it was the coolest thing I had ever seen besides Death Race 2000 and Star Wars... The 2002 remake thing... was horrible. Sorry, it just was. I wish I could have gotten my money and the hour and forty minutes I wasted back.
Armageddon - Okay... I really debated putting this movie in the list... because I really liked the actors... almost all of them, in fact (okay, Ben Affleck is irritating and really not all that great an actor (if someone were to get all uppity and say something wise like, "Do you think you could do as good?" Eh, probably. Give me half a mil and find out.) and Bruce Willis is only really "okay" to me - they've both done some good movies, though... that "good movie that it seems like no one saw" for Willis is easily The Color of Night) - and I honestly even liked some parts of the movie... but the story... well, like Steve Buscemi says - "A god damned Greek tragedy." Things go from bad to worse to even worse to "oh, shit how much more is going to go wrong?" to "Now you're totally yanking my chain and offending me" with how hokey it becomes at times. Okay, so I sorta liked a bad movie... but it was totally for the actors, not the actual story which, although it contained some good moments, sucked. Though I do have two words for the guys that did Armageddon - Deep Impact.
Independance Day - Nice effects, but sorry. I just thought it was a complete snooze.
Top Gun - Everyone seemed to love this movie. I thought it was pretty stupid... and that's when I was sixteen or whatever I was when the movie came out. After seeing it again in recent years, it also strikes me as very gay.
I liked Star Wars: The Phantom Menace... at first... but having had a few years to reflect on it all since, I think it was just the kid in me that had been waiting (no, dying) to see something/anything new with the Star Wars name on it... I openly despised Jar Jar Binks from the onset, however... apparently to the chagrin of a few of my die-hard Star Wars fan friends. They aren't any bigger a fan of the series than I am, or anything. I think we just look for different things in movies (for one thing, I can't stand stupid one-liners that screw up the flow of a movie and the latter Star Wars movies were full of them - well, the first two, anyway - comic relief is one thing, but stupidity is something entirely different). I like my movies a little darker. That's why The Empire Strikes Back is and always will be the best Star Wars movie, ever (yet of the original three, the one I've seen probably the least), and The Phantom Menace will always be the worst.
The Honeymooners - Okay, I'll admit I haven't seen this movie, yet... but taking something so golden like The Honeymooners and African-Americanizing it... is heresy. And I mean absolutely zero offense to any African-Americans, Africans, or even Americans... but give me a break. I'm sure there are some funny parts in it. I bet Mike Epps has some good moments... but it doesn't matter. I personally can't stand Cedric the Entertainer - I just don't think he's remotely funny (even though I kind of enjoyed his role in "Be Cool," recently) and there's no way in Hell I would buy him as Ralph Kramden for even a millisecond.
Considering the bajillions of movies I've seen in my life, that's a pretty short list (even counting the one movie I haven't even seen). Well, I'm sure there's plenty of sucky movies I'm missing, but I'll get to those when I remember them.
For the reord, to all the Hollywood execs that read my blog (c'mon, you know you're out there... in droves) - PLEASE STOP REMAKING OLD MOVIES and try coming up with an original idea for a change.
So after watching the Bat flick last night, I sat and tried to think of some movies I honestly didn't like...
For the sake of it, I'm going to leave out Police Academy Parts IV+ as well as Kevin Costner's "jewels of denial" Waterworld and The Postman... because those kind of go without saying. Also left out are movies like From Justin to Kelly that there's no way in a million Hells you could get me to watch.
Batman & Robin - Okay... Michael Keaton? Yes (even though he will always be Mr. Mom to me). Val Kilmer? No. George Clooney? HELL no.
Titanic - well, I honestly only made it maybe forty-five minutes into the movie before I just stopped watching it... It's pretty obvious why it did a billion at the box office... One simple reason... Continents full of teeneage girls making many multiples of trips to the theater... I thought it was complete shit... and considering how much money they wasted on it, a heaping pile of complete shit... written for morons (and teenage girls). I can't believe that James Cameron can even find work in Hollywood, honestly, yet it seems people - Hollywood execs, fans, etc. are lining up to fellate him for some unknown reason.
Pearl Harbor - okay... what the Hell? I think you missed the point, man. I hate when people make love stories out of a god-awful tragedy... I'm sure that somewhere down the road, a cheesy $200 million dollar 9/11 love story will pop up. But Pearl Harbor... the special effects are rather well done, but there were even spots in the action secquences where I was dumbfounded by the stupidity... and if all you can appreciate in a movie are the special effects... well, y'know.
I have never seen E.T. from start to finish in one viewing - it took four or five different times to get the whole movie in - I didn't think it particularly sucked, or anything - I just couldn't get into it.
You Got Served - Yeah, I saw it coming on TV, one day... Seeing how well it was thoroughly abused in the South Park episode "F'd in the A," I had to see if it would suck as much as I thought it would. Turns out, it sucked even more.
Battlefield Earth - as much as I wanted to like it... I ended up not.
Jaws 3D and Jaws: The Revenge - just sucked... end of discussion.
The Crow: City of Angels - I was a James O'Barr (the writer of the original comics) fan before the first movie ever came out... and I really loved the first one... I've never tasted poo before, but after I got done with City of Angels I wasn't so sure, anymore.
Lawnmower Man 2 - I have fond memories of the original... the sequel? Eh, not so much.
While were on the sequel path - Grease 2 & Caddyshack 2 sucked almost equally.
Rollerball (2002) - I can remember watching the old '70s one with my parents... in the '70s... and thinking it was the coolest thing I had ever seen besides Death Race 2000 and Star Wars... The 2002 remake thing... was horrible. Sorry, it just was. I wish I could have gotten my money and the hour and forty minutes I wasted back.
Armageddon - Okay... I really debated putting this movie in the list... because I really liked the actors... almost all of them, in fact (okay, Ben Affleck is irritating and really not all that great an actor (if someone were to get all uppity and say something wise like, "Do you think you could do as good?" Eh, probably. Give me half a mil and find out.) and Bruce Willis is only really "okay" to me - they've both done some good movies, though... that "good movie that it seems like no one saw" for Willis is easily The Color of Night) - and I honestly even liked some parts of the movie... but the story... well, like Steve Buscemi says - "A god damned Greek tragedy." Things go from bad to worse to even worse to "oh, shit how much more is going to go wrong?" to "Now you're totally yanking my chain and offending me" with how hokey it becomes at times. Okay, so I sorta liked a bad movie... but it was totally for the actors, not the actual story which, although it contained some good moments, sucked. Though I do have two words for the guys that did Armageddon - Deep Impact.
Independance Day - Nice effects, but sorry. I just thought it was a complete snooze.
Top Gun - Everyone seemed to love this movie. I thought it was pretty stupid... and that's when I was sixteen or whatever I was when the movie came out. After seeing it again in recent years, it also strikes me as very gay.
I liked Star Wars: The Phantom Menace... at first... but having had a few years to reflect on it all since, I think it was just the kid in me that had been waiting (no, dying) to see something/anything new with the Star Wars name on it... I openly despised Jar Jar Binks from the onset, however... apparently to the chagrin of a few of my die-hard Star Wars fan friends. They aren't any bigger a fan of the series than I am, or anything. I think we just look for different things in movies (for one thing, I can't stand stupid one-liners that screw up the flow of a movie and the latter Star Wars movies were full of them - well, the first two, anyway - comic relief is one thing, but stupidity is something entirely different). I like my movies a little darker. That's why The Empire Strikes Back is and always will be the best Star Wars movie, ever (yet of the original three, the one I've seen probably the least), and The Phantom Menace will always be the worst.
The Honeymooners - Okay, I'll admit I haven't seen this movie, yet... but taking something so golden like The Honeymooners and African-Americanizing it... is heresy. And I mean absolutely zero offense to any African-Americans, Africans, or even Americans... but give me a break. I'm sure there are some funny parts in it. I bet Mike Epps has some good moments... but it doesn't matter. I personally can't stand Cedric the Entertainer - I just don't think he's remotely funny (even though I kind of enjoyed his role in "Be Cool," recently) and there's no way in Hell I would buy him as Ralph Kramden for even a millisecond.
Considering the bajillions of movies I've seen in my life, that's a pretty short list (even counting the one movie I haven't even seen). Well, I'm sure there's plenty of sucky movies I'm missing, but I'll get to those when I remember them.
For the reord, to all the Hollywood execs that read my blog (c'mon, you know you're out there... in droves) - PLEASE STOP REMAKING OLD MOVIES and try coming up with an original idea for a change.
I saw Batman Begins last night. Fantastic... period.
I only had a couple "issues" with the movie, but they were overshadowed by everything else good about it... My big gripe is the same gripe I've had since they started making Batman movies - where is his gun? I mean, no, Batman doesn't carry a gun... anymore... but in the old Detective Comics way back when... when he first started out, he strapped a .45 to his waist. But, considering the particular story angle they went with for the movie, I can understand why he doesn't carry a gun. But still... I want my gun-totin' superhero, damnit.
I always knew that Christian Bale was gonna be one of those "star" things after I saw him in American Psycho. I also liked the movie Equilibrium with him quite a bit, too... well... I think I liked the premise of the movie (futuristic society, emotions are illegal) more than the actual movie, but still... Bale really gets into his roles. He pulled off a pretty good Bruce Wayne. (kinda sad to say that Adam West is only the third best Batman, now... behind Bale and Michael Keaton)
I think he's cool. I'd drink with the guy... as long as he didn't start talking about how Huey Lewis & the News were the seminal '80s music act... because then I would know that there's an axe or a chainsaw hidden somewhere - which would spook me.
I only had a couple "issues" with the movie, but they were overshadowed by everything else good about it... My big gripe is the same gripe I've had since they started making Batman movies - where is his gun? I mean, no, Batman doesn't carry a gun... anymore... but in the old Detective Comics way back when... when he first started out, he strapped a .45 to his waist. But, considering the particular story angle they went with for the movie, I can understand why he doesn't carry a gun. But still... I want my gun-totin' superhero, damnit.
I always knew that Christian Bale was gonna be one of those "star" things after I saw him in American Psycho. I also liked the movie Equilibrium with him quite a bit, too... well... I think I liked the premise of the movie (futuristic society, emotions are illegal) more than the actual movie, but still... Bale really gets into his roles. He pulled off a pretty good Bruce Wayne. (kinda sad to say that Adam West is only the third best Batman, now... behind Bale and Michael Keaton)
I think he's cool. I'd drink with the guy... as long as he didn't start talking about how Huey Lewis & the News were the seminal '80s music act... because then I would know that there's an axe or a chainsaw hidden somewhere - which would spook me.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
I've been thinking about a couple things regarding Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith... Well, one big flaw-thing...
After watching it a few more times... I just have to wonder... Okay, Anakin Skywalker basically turns to the Dark Side for one sole reason - he is haunted by a dream where his wife dies for some mysterious reason... Chancellor Palpatine (a.k.a. "Darth Sidious," a.k.a. "the Emperor") says that the Dark Side can teach ways to save life that he couldn't learn being a Jedi. SO, Anakin pledges himself to the Dark Side - in order to save his wife's life. So, WHY, near the end of the movie, does he try to choke her to death? I'm sure many of the "hardcore" folks would try to say that he was already "too deep" or whatever into the Dark Side... If that is the case, then WHY (after he is turned into a burning stump in the fight with Obi-Wan and then transformed into the Darth Vader that we all know and love) is the first thing out of his mouth, "What about Padme? Is she all right?" If he was so immersed into the Dark Side, why would he give a shit? ... You see what I'm saying, here? He only joined the Dark Side to try to save his wife... then tried to kill her... then asked if she was okay... IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!!!
After watching it a few more times... I just have to wonder... Okay, Anakin Skywalker basically turns to the Dark Side for one sole reason - he is haunted by a dream where his wife dies for some mysterious reason... Chancellor Palpatine (a.k.a. "Darth Sidious," a.k.a. "the Emperor") says that the Dark Side can teach ways to save life that he couldn't learn being a Jedi. SO, Anakin pledges himself to the Dark Side - in order to save his wife's life. So, WHY, near the end of the movie, does he try to choke her to death? I'm sure many of the "hardcore" folks would try to say that he was already "too deep" or whatever into the Dark Side... If that is the case, then WHY (after he is turned into a burning stump in the fight with Obi-Wan and then transformed into the Darth Vader that we all know and love) is the first thing out of his mouth, "What about Padme? Is she all right?" If he was so immersed into the Dark Side, why would he give a shit? ... You see what I'm saying, here? He only joined the Dark Side to try to save his wife... then tried to kill her... then asked if she was okay... IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!!!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Two years ago this morning, my father passed away. He had a stroke on the night of May 25th (a few days after his 65th birthday) and several more strokes in the days that followed.
He was unconcious for many days... I was with him when he woke up for the first time... I had just put in a CD of his favorite music (the Four Freshmen) - as I turned around and the first notes of the CD played... he opened his eyes and looked right at me... It was a nice feeling, considering he had been unconcious for nearly a week previously...
He never regained the ability to speak before he passed away... I always wanted to ask him what happened that night he had his stroke... where it all "went wrong" for him... the last thing he remembered before it happened... all that stuff that only he could answer... but y'know... never had the chance to. It kinda pisses me off... go figure.
He was unconcious for many days... I was with him when he woke up for the first time... I had just put in a CD of his favorite music (the Four Freshmen) - as I turned around and the first notes of the CD played... he opened his eyes and looked right at me... It was a nice feeling, considering he had been unconcious for nearly a week previously...
He never regained the ability to speak before he passed away... I always wanted to ask him what happened that night he had his stroke... where it all "went wrong" for him... the last thing he remembered before it happened... all that stuff that only he could answer... but y'know... never had the chance to. It kinda pisses me off... go figure.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Um... Wow
So, I went to the midnight screening of the final Star Wars movie, last night... I had some really high hopes. I liked Episodes I & II... not loved... but liked, anyway... and I was so hoping that this movie would make up for all the "shortcomings" of the first two... and it made up for it, and then some.
It really was an incredibly well-done film. The opening battle was the best looking of any battle in any of the six movies. After the "crawl," you see a lone big-assed battleship thing... as it moves out of the way, a HUGE battle is taking place beneath it... I had a feeling I was gonna be happy with the film... well, "happy" is an operative word, here. The movie was actually incredibly tragic from start to finish... When it's clear that Anakin Skywalker has fallen victim to the Dark Side, it was very depressing... As he ignites his light saber to slaughter the Younglings, it was actually quite sad what had become of "the chosen one." The script managed to trim down a vast majority of the silly one-liners that intruded in on the earlier two movies... thank god.
One-liners aside, though, the script? Well, it was still pretty bad (like the other two prequels). There are three moments in the film where I laughed out loud at how cheesy what I was hearing was... one of those moments actually being the lone dialogue scene with the '70s-era Darth Vader. I really can't believe that people sat around watching the dailies for these scenes with the cheesy dialogue and said, "Yeah, that works..." There were a couple scenes with Obi-Wan that he probably needed to be... a little more animated... but he just kinda delivered his lines all cool and calm... maybe that's just how a Jedi is, or something (I know that, given the circumstances, I would have been extremely more "agitated" (to say the least) than Kenobi)... At the very end, Obi-Wan finally finds some passion for what's happening around him...
The action sequences do quite a bit to make up for the crappy dialogue. The light saber battles were incredibly good, all-around. So much (that we already knew) was tied up quite nicely... There was a moment, when the Rebel Blockade Runner (incidentally, piloted by the original Boba Fett, Jeremy Bulloch) appears onscreen (the first ship from any of the older trilogy to appear in the new movies)... and they move inside, to the very simple, very white interior and I was transported back in time, where I met Darth Vader for the very first time in 1977, three minutes into Episode IV. Considering how "technically beautiful" the latter three movies had become compared to their predecessors, to see that low-tech, plain white walkway, again... it was so cool. Everybody knew the story of how Darth Vader came to be. Finally seeing it on screen was amazing... amazingly depressing. I watched so many people walk out of the theater completely stunned at what they saw. So tragic... and so awesome.
My only complaint is the fact that the movie theater apparently lost the air-conditioning before the movie, making it extremely warm for myself and 159 other people... considering the volcanic terrain of the final battle between Skywalker and Obi-Wan, it was probably only fitting that we all feel the heat a little, as well...
It was great... finally. I am sad to see it over... or is it? Word has it there is a TV show in the works... which could be cool, or could really blow. If "Revenge of the Sith" is where the Star Wars legacy ends, it ended on a tremendous high-note of complete tragedy...
So, I went to the midnight screening of the final Star Wars movie, last night... I had some really high hopes. I liked Episodes I & II... not loved... but liked, anyway... and I was so hoping that this movie would make up for all the "shortcomings" of the first two... and it made up for it, and then some.
It really was an incredibly well-done film. The opening battle was the best looking of any battle in any of the six movies. After the "crawl," you see a lone big-assed battleship thing... as it moves out of the way, a HUGE battle is taking place beneath it... I had a feeling I was gonna be happy with the film... well, "happy" is an operative word, here. The movie was actually incredibly tragic from start to finish... When it's clear that Anakin Skywalker has fallen victim to the Dark Side, it was very depressing... As he ignites his light saber to slaughter the Younglings, it was actually quite sad what had become of "the chosen one." The script managed to trim down a vast majority of the silly one-liners that intruded in on the earlier two movies... thank god.
One-liners aside, though, the script? Well, it was still pretty bad (like the other two prequels). There are three moments in the film where I laughed out loud at how cheesy what I was hearing was... one of those moments actually being the lone dialogue scene with the '70s-era Darth Vader. I really can't believe that people sat around watching the dailies for these scenes with the cheesy dialogue and said, "Yeah, that works..." There were a couple scenes with Obi-Wan that he probably needed to be... a little more animated... but he just kinda delivered his lines all cool and calm... maybe that's just how a Jedi is, or something (I know that, given the circumstances, I would have been extremely more "agitated" (to say the least) than Kenobi)... At the very end, Obi-Wan finally finds some passion for what's happening around him...
The action sequences do quite a bit to make up for the crappy dialogue. The light saber battles were incredibly good, all-around. So much (that we already knew) was tied up quite nicely... There was a moment, when the Rebel Blockade Runner (incidentally, piloted by the original Boba Fett, Jeremy Bulloch) appears onscreen (the first ship from any of the older trilogy to appear in the new movies)... and they move inside, to the very simple, very white interior and I was transported back in time, where I met Darth Vader for the very first time in 1977, three minutes into Episode IV. Considering how "technically beautiful" the latter three movies had become compared to their predecessors, to see that low-tech, plain white walkway, again... it was so cool. Everybody knew the story of how Darth Vader came to be. Finally seeing it on screen was amazing... amazingly depressing. I watched so many people walk out of the theater completely stunned at what they saw. So tragic... and so awesome.
My only complaint is the fact that the movie theater apparently lost the air-conditioning before the movie, making it extremely warm for myself and 159 other people... considering the volcanic terrain of the final battle between Skywalker and Obi-Wan, it was probably only fitting that we all feel the heat a little, as well...
It was great... finally. I am sad to see it over... or is it? Word has it there is a TV show in the works... which could be cool, or could really blow. If "Revenge of the Sith" is where the Star Wars legacy ends, it ended on a tremendous high-note of complete tragedy...
Monday, May 16, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Don't Panic
Went and saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, tonight... friggin' brilliant. I watched a family (a man, wife and their fifteen year-old (looking) son) act all befuddled and get up and leave about thirty minutes into the movie... There were only about a dozen people in the theatre, total, and I'm honestly surprized that more people didn't leave... Well, basically, there were a few parents with their kids, and I'll bet a lot of money that the kids didn't get it (judging by the fact that a couple of them kept leaving to play video games)... and I'm willing to bet equal money that the parents probably didn't get it, either... I think there were a total of 4 people (two couples) that even knew what the movie was about before they got there... they "got it." The rest of the people there, I seriously doubt it. I think they brought their kids to see a space movie and left scratching their heads... I was actually a bit surprised that the movie even came to the area, considering the collective mentality of many of the citizens and the fact that the last book any of them read was probably a car manual... well, okay, that's not really fair to the cool people, here. but it's actually pretty safe to say that the vast majority of my friends in the area wouldn't like the movie, either.
Of course critics are going to pan the movie... that's because basically, they are big douches. Joel Siegel says, "Mos Def is a very talented actor, but aside from him, the cast virtually disappears into the scenery, and the scenery isn't very good. Fans will appreciate the film. But if anyone else wants to see it, visit me the next time you're in New York. I'll hit you with a shovel (a reference to what happens on one of the planets they visit). You'll save $10 and the feeling will be about the same." Hey, Joel - (you guessed it) you're a douche (and a pretty annoying one, at that).
My opinion is that you don't have to have read the book to be entertained by the movie... It might help, but it's definitely not necessary... All it really requires is a modicum of intelligence and a good sense of (British) humor.
Hats off to the entire cast... Sam Rockwell was particularly good as Zaphod Beeblebrox, president of the galaxy. I also thought Bill Nighy was good as Slartibartflast, as well... and Mos Def was great... well, like I said... the whole cast was well done... Two thumbs up! I'm already looking forward to the DVD.
Went and saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, tonight... friggin' brilliant. I watched a family (a man, wife and their fifteen year-old (looking) son) act all befuddled and get up and leave about thirty minutes into the movie... There were only about a dozen people in the theatre, total, and I'm honestly surprized that more people didn't leave... Well, basically, there were a few parents with their kids, and I'll bet a lot of money that the kids didn't get it (judging by the fact that a couple of them kept leaving to play video games)... and I'm willing to bet equal money that the parents probably didn't get it, either... I think there were a total of 4 people (two couples) that even knew what the movie was about before they got there... they "got it." The rest of the people there, I seriously doubt it. I think they brought their kids to see a space movie and left scratching their heads... I was actually a bit surprised that the movie even came to the area, considering the collective mentality of many of the citizens and the fact that the last book any of them read was probably a car manual... well, okay, that's not really fair to the cool people, here. but it's actually pretty safe to say that the vast majority of my friends in the area wouldn't like the movie, either.
Of course critics are going to pan the movie... that's because basically, they are big douches. Joel Siegel says, "Mos Def is a very talented actor, but aside from him, the cast virtually disappears into the scenery, and the scenery isn't very good. Fans will appreciate the film. But if anyone else wants to see it, visit me the next time you're in New York. I'll hit you with a shovel (a reference to what happens on one of the planets they visit). You'll save $10 and the feeling will be about the same." Hey, Joel - (you guessed it) you're a douche (and a pretty annoying one, at that).
My opinion is that you don't have to have read the book to be entertained by the movie... It might help, but it's definitely not necessary... All it really requires is a modicum of intelligence and a good sense of (British) humor.
Hats off to the entire cast... Sam Rockwell was particularly good as Zaphod Beeblebrox, president of the galaxy. I also thought Bill Nighy was good as Slartibartflast, as well... and Mos Def was great... well, like I said... the whole cast was well done... Two thumbs up! I'm already looking forward to the DVD.
Friday, April 15, 2005
911 Operator Goes Too Far?
Lori's two daughters, 12 and 13, were fighting... after the 12 year-old kicked a hole in a door, instead of ending the fight herself, Lori called 911. The Watauga, Texas 911 operator, Mike Forbess, after receiving the call said to Lori, "Okay, do you want us to come over and shoot her?" After the phone fell silent, Forbess told Lori he was just joking. Lori was not amused. She wanted Mr. Forbess fired.
Forbess apologized, saying, "I admit what I did. It was stupid, it was inexcusable and I'm sorry."
According to what I saw on the news earlier, he wasn't fired but he received a letter of repremand from the police chief.
Lori's two daughters, 12 and 13, were fighting... after the 12 year-old kicked a hole in a door, instead of ending the fight herself, Lori called 911. The Watauga, Texas 911 operator, Mike Forbess, after receiving the call said to Lori, "Okay, do you want us to come over and shoot her?" After the phone fell silent, Forbess told Lori he was just joking. Lori was not amused. She wanted Mr. Forbess fired.
Forbess apologized, saying, "I admit what I did. It was stupid, it was inexcusable and I'm sorry."
According to what I saw on the news earlier, he wasn't fired but he received a letter of repremand from the police chief.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
I've done a couple stupid things in the past couple days...
I was supposed to put some stuff in the washer into the dryer so it would be ready for in the morning... I sat about twenty feet from the dryer for several hours last night and it never crossed my mind. I totally forgot about it. I guess it wasn't a catastrophic event, or anything, but I still felt bad about it.
Then, tonight after I took the biscuits out of the oven, I totally forgot to turn off the oven. That can be, y'know, kinda dangerous.
I've been having headaches rather frequently (again) and nosebleeds a little more frequent than before... well, I've had nosebleeds since I got mononucleosis back in high school... and they usually pick up a little in the colder months (due to gas heating and such) - seeing as the heat hasn't been on in a little while... Maybe I have a brain tumor, or something that is making me... more stupider.
"...eet's notta toomuh..."
I was supposed to put some stuff in the washer into the dryer so it would be ready for in the morning... I sat about twenty feet from the dryer for several hours last night and it never crossed my mind. I totally forgot about it. I guess it wasn't a catastrophic event, or anything, but I still felt bad about it.
Then, tonight after I took the biscuits out of the oven, I totally forgot to turn off the oven. That can be, y'know, kinda dangerous.
I've been having headaches rather frequently (again) and nosebleeds a little more frequent than before... well, I've had nosebleeds since I got mononucleosis back in high school... and they usually pick up a little in the colder months (due to gas heating and such) - seeing as the heat hasn't been on in a little while... Maybe I have a brain tumor, or something that is making me... more stupider.
"...eet's notta toomuh..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)